Grief in the workplace: how do you deal with absenteeism?

We often associate grief with the loss of a loved one, but it is much broader. A divorce or the loss of, for example, health, work, or contact with someone important to you also involves a grieving process. This is often accompanied by absenteeism. The figures from Statistics Netherlands (CBS) are telling: grief-related complaints lead to an average duration of absence of 170 days. It is therefore in the employer’s interest to manage this absenteeism effectively.

By Cocky van Ravensteijn

Personal problems left at the door?
You come to work, hang your personal troubles at the door, shine in your role as an employee, and at the end of the workday, you take your problems back home. There are still employers who think this old way, but I am convinced that it really cannot be separated.

Grief’s impact in the workplace
Grief is a normal reaction to a significant loss. It does not require treatment as with depression, but it does require time and attention. Everyone deals with it differently, so the support someone needs must be tailored. The duration of absence due to grief also varies from person to person. Still, the manager has more influence here than you might think. By paying the right kind of attention to the employee and the team, you can (partially) prevent absenteeism.

The story behind grief
Make sure you know what is going on with employees. A child who is terminally ill, a reorganization that places the employee in a different team, a divorce that someone chose themselves but now sees their children less... Grief is very broad, so make sure you know the story behind it so you can anticipate if necessary.

How do you view grief?
How do you yourself view grief in combination with absenteeism? As a manager, do you think two weeks is enough after the death of a parent, since it is the way of life, or should it be longer? Do you think someone can just come to work after a divorce, since you did the same yourself, or do you offer a bit more space? What you consider appropriate, your own view on grief, is often projected onto employees. The question, however, is whether this actually leads to shorter absenteeism. Try to look at the person involved with an open mind.

Stay involved with the employee
Work is very important to many people. However, after a significant loss, time is often needed to settle, and work may demand things the employee cannot provide at that moment. Absenteeism is lurking. For HR professionals and managers, it is important to stay involved. Have a better conversation: what does someone need during that transition phase? Flexible hours, starting later, adjusted work? Needs can also shift during the grieving process, so keep an eye on that. If people feel acknowledged during the hardest time of their lives, loyalty grows. And then absenteeism sometimes really does not have to last that long.

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